7 Things I Learned at the 2nd Annual "For Queens Only"
For the second year in a row the women behind Brunch N’ Grind and Embracing the Crown worked together to create a space “For Queens Only.” Shanea Phillips, Jadea Asante and Shelby Adkins tapped blogger and social media strategist Christina Brown, media personality Scottie Beam, Therapist and Philanthropist Nyeesha D. Williams, and Entertainment Reporter Sylvia Obell to share their stories over chicken, waffles, and DJ Sienna Chanel’s beats at Elizabeth’s Dolce Lounge. Found out what I learned from these queens below.
1. Growth Can Get You Cut Off
While people are frequently careful to warn girl bosses about those who get ghost when the going gets rough there’s less preparation about how to spot those who are sickened by your success. “I had friends that I thought were like so cool” said Christina Brown of LoveBrownSugar and it’s like “oh I got a feature in Essence and all of a sudden they not answering my text messages, oh I was in a Dove commercial and now you don’t know me. They’ll be so uncomfortable with the moves that you’re making that they’ll almost want to remove themselves from your space.” When your friends are as panelist Scottie Beam said “quiet for your wins” it can seem like it’s you but the ladies made it clear that sometimes “it’s just jealousy.”
2. Patience Can Lead to Power
The lone “corpreneuer” on the panel Sylvia Obell talked about being the importance of being able to innovate in corporate spaces. The entertainment journalist recalled working at Essence Magazine when they first launched their Instagram page and watching “people leave because they couldn’t do what they wanted right away.” She stated that instead of pouting you have to “give them the things that they want and do it so well that they let you do the things that you want to do.”
3. Every Level Has It’s Devils
One might look at her flawless skin and successful circle and think she could never be a victim of sabotage but even Scottie Beam gets shade thrown her way. “It’s cut throat” she said of the music industry “you get called this bitch term”. She then quickly added a “sorry moms” to the moms who showed up to celebrate the day “you don’t even see it until you’re in the big league and they’re trying to cute your ankles from under you.”
4. Before You Make Sure He’s Marriage Material Make Sure He’s Ready
While the bulk of the conversation was about career there were a few inquires about the panelists personal lives. Obell dropped a jewel she got from Essence Relationships Editor Charlie Penn to “make sure he is ready.” She said that Penn let her know none of a man’s other qualities will matter if he’s not in a place where is ready to be a husband and “ just hanging out with the homies playing video games”. Scottie Beam added the importance of “making sure he's worth your time.”
5. You Don’t Need to Give it Up to Get In
When it comes to compromising her integrity to get an opportunity Scottie Beam stood firm in her convictions saying “it’s quiet for that.” She let attendees know that You can achieve anything you want to “without going on date with some man or sleeping with some man. You don’t need to do that.”
6. Sacrifice Can Look Different for Everyone
After being asked by stylist Kay Johnae how to use one’s day job to propel their purpose Nyeesha D. Williams reminded her of the importance of sacrifice. “We buy things we don’t need. We have bigger apartments than we need. If you make the sacrifice you can find what you need there.” During the panel she recalled her own sacrifice of losing personal ties by moving to California to pursue her dreams “I didn’t know how fake so many of my friends were until I moved out there but the universe works so you’re going to be in perfect alignment with the people that you need to be around."
7. Sometimes It’s Not About You
If you automatically assume it’s about you when things aren’t going your way you’re not alone. “I take things personally when a lot of times you shouldn’t take it personally” said Brown. “I’m the type of person who will look for every reason it could be me” said Obell. See? Even your faves can feel like everyone is against them. It's not just you! But like true Queens we’re all going to work through it-together.
Check out more of what you missed below!
#brunch #BlackGirlPodcast #blackgirlsmagic #Elizabeth #elizabethnj #dolce #forqueensonly #embracingthecrown #brunchngrind #djsiennachanel #localevents #newjerseyevents #LoveBrownSugar #scottybeam #buzzfeed